Almost a year ago to the day I was on the start line of a race which terrified me – the infamous Double Century. The race consists of a 202km loop starting and finishing in Swellendam, in the Western Cape and is done in a team time trial format (i.e. you start with 12 team members, and your time stops when the 6th team member crosses the finish line). Aside from the distance, which was much further than I had ever ridden, I was part of the incredibly strong UCT train – a team of which I was almost certainly the weakest member, definitely in the bottom three. Nevertheless I was determined to prove to the team captains who had chosen me that I was fit for the job. No stone was left unturned in my pursuit to be as strong as I could on the day, including shaving my legs, a particularly uncommon and laborious experience. Come race day, I was ready.
Fear of the race was justified, as merely 10km in I felt as if I could crack/blow up/explode/hit the wall at any moment (accompanied by the voice of the imaginary commentator in my head saying: “his goose is cooked”). And yet somehow, I made it to the finish…UCT crossed the line as the 7th placed team overall and the first with all 12 members across the line, coming home in under 5 hours. The race was almost certainly hardest thing I have ever done, but completing it has opened my eyes to all I’m capable of. When I’m struggling through something I look back on that day and think: “if I got through that, I can get through this”.
In just over a week’s time, I am going to attempt my first half iron distance race, the MiWayLife Joburg Ultra (for those of you who don’t know, it involves a 1.9km swim, 90km cycle and 21,1km run) – and once again I find myself feeling terrified. I worry about how my body will deal with a race of this length, particularly having to do a long run after a long cycle. I worry about getting my nutrition wrong and either running out of energy or having to deal with cramps. I worry about my back getting really tight, because I haven’t spent all that much time in the time trial position. I worry about disappointing not only myself, but all those invested in me – my parents, coach, sponsors.
Aside from the nerves, I am extremely excited to push myself to the limit and find out just how much my body can take. I’ve done all the training, this last week is about resting up to ensure I’m fresh come next weekend.
These last couple of weeks of training have been really draining. Fortunately, having just finished at varsity for the year, I’ve been able to rest and recover sufficiently. I’m in awe of all those who have managed to complete the training while holding down full time jobs, studying or coping with the other stresses life throws at you – I’ve essentially been living the life of a professional athlete and I have really struggled.
Triathletes in general often don’t have any problem with big hairy audacious goals (picture someone doing an Ironman, or running the Comrades), but scary things aren’t always the big goals. Most of the scary things we need to tackle are not necessarily scary sounding to the outside world, but may be even more difficult for us to overcome. Many triathletes really struggle with open water swimming – even more so when this happens in the ocean. The frenetic mass start, waves, inability to put your feet down, fear of the unknown are enough to make almost everyone worry at least a little bit. Having grown up near the coast, I am fortunate to have avoided this specific problem, but that doesn’t mean I don’t have other difficult things to deal with. While this might surprise you, considering I have raced off-road triathlons regularly and at a high level, I am scared of technical riding. This fear has probably been fostered by the numerous falls I’ve had off mountain bikes in the past few years (I can easily count 10, with at least that number having occurred on a single corner which forms part of the UCT cross country track). I can count many times where I have watched a whole team of school kids ride fearlessly down a technical trail, only for me to walk down a couple moments later. Having identified this fear I am working slowly but surely to fix it – practicing on easy trails, riding with other people, working on my balance on the bike. I think I’m on the path to turn this fear into a strength.
In much the same way you can take steps towards overcoming your fears. While they don’t have to be big steps, or quick steps, regular plodding in the direction of your goal will yield incredible results. Let’s do this together.
Happy training,
Mike
Mike Ross 